Well, things went in an interesting direction at my therapy session last week. I mentioned previously that I was apprehensive that it would actually help me since I didn’t think therapies existed for my most pressing issues.
We started the session trying out some games in the Wii Fit Plus. I had tried some at home, and we also tried some new ones. Some of them were too easy, some too hard, but the important question of the day was, according to my therapist: “Was it fun?” It was a resounding no for all. Either they went too fast too early on and I couldn’t catch up, or had a time limit that made me too anxious, or they made sound out of the controller (IT’S NOT MORE IMMERSIVE, DAMMIT NINTENDO!).
On to Wii Sports, which I have played before. Kind of the same deal as the Fit Plus. Either it was too easy (boring), or the motion I was doing didn’t feel like it matched what was happening on the screen (frustrating). Not fun.
Changing gears a bit, we turned on the Xbox and tried some dance game. I was a little more hopeful for this one since I was a Dance Dance Revolution fiend back in the day, though I had to give it up when it started to put too much strain on my joints. While the Kinect gives you more freedom than a mat with arrows on it, there was one hitch: Since I have actual dance experience, I found it too simplistic. I kind of expected this, and I didn’t think that turning up the difficulty would have made it any more interesting to me. We attempted to try one last Zumba game, but the controls for the game were so hard to use that I gave up quickly (come on guys, motion control in moderation, see above for my opinion on its immersiveness).
I feel like I’m not physically strong enough to do the things I once found fun. I know what I was capable of in the past before all of my injuries, and I feel like I just need to grit my teeth and get through some serious training to get back there. It was about this point that we started talking about what I could do to try and find a fun, mild physical activity, because “it’s more likely that you’ll stick to it if it’s fun.”
Mentally, I said, “I haven’t found anything fun in a long time.”
Oooooh. Depression you sneaky bastard.
It was at this point that I mentioned that I really wanted to start dancing again, but that I wouldn’t be able to because of my auditory sensitivities. Dance studios are usually large rooms with hard surfaces that echo EVERYTHING, and the one adult class I tried to go to went way too fast. (I may have taken lessons for a decade, but it’s been over a decade since I quit, so I definitely need a refresher. Private lessons would probably be ideal, but HAHAHA who am I kidding, I have no income to pay for that).
Puzzled, she looked at me and said, “How did you take lessons for 10 years if the sound was too much for you?” I replied that I didn’t used to be this sensitive to noise, it’s only been the last few years that it’s gotten so bad that I can’t do most of the things I used to enjoy, musical endeavors included.
Ooooooh, also probably contributing to the depression.
“Oh,” she said. “You know, I’m taking a training course for our Sound Sensitivity therapy next week. I tried it already with one of the kids I work with, and it made a huge difference. It’s a 5 hour program, and you can do most of it at home.”
Oh hey. I didn’t even know therapy like that existed. And here I thought I’d be jumping out of my skin at ALL THE NOISES forever. I mean, there’s no guarantee that it’s going to work for me, but it at least gave me something to look forward to. I also made an appointment with my psychologist for next week, because depression is a sneaky bastard and I need some help untangling that mess. So yeah, feeling a tiny bit better about things this week…even though I still forgot 2 appointments last week.
Sigh. One thing at a time.